Tottenham’s board issue a profit warning, but they haven’t finished cleaning up the mess they created

The all-wrap - no gift that is Tottenham (it’s okay, the executive has tweaked the branding and it’s now okay to use the ‘T word’) continues to gather pace with players who aren’t actually fit to play, being used as game day ambassadors.

James Maddison can’t start, but will be cheerleading from the bench. I suggest fans watch out for a heartwarming warm-up opposite the away fans at some point. Expect a wave and his hair to be extra bouncy.

“We’re …frustrated because James wants to be on the pitch.” De Zerbo told the press.

“Not a big injury, and tomorrow he can play, but the Premier League is tough, and you need to be fit and in the right condition to run and fight. He is working well, and this is the way. The way is to complete 3/4/5 weeks in a row without feeling pain and problems, and then he’s a normal player,” the gaffer continued.

Dejan Kulusevski is also going to be leading the line from the stands, Roberto told us.

“He’s an inspiration. He reacted very well, with character, with courage, with passion. Yes, passion. It’s a good word, passion.

“We have to take inspiration from Deki. I said the same in the meeting to the players. He is an example for everyone, Dejan Kulusevski.

“Forget the player, but the example of how he reacted to the injury, the reaction to being unlucky, the character he showed this time, was an example, a reference for everyone.”

Maybe years of suffering jive and double talk from ENIC have warped my brain, but what have the board done to parctically done to support this season’s Spurs coach?

What we are looking at here is rearranging deckchairs on the Titanic. Is it Robert’s idea to show the fans players that aren’t actually able to play, in order to keep the spirits up?

Vinai Venkatesham made the executive’s position pretty clear at the Fan Advisory Board’s last meet-and-greet.

• The club has not recorded a profit since 2019.

• Costs are rising because of investment in the men’s team (wages and transfer fees).

• Back-to-back 17th-place finishes and no European football this season have hit revenue.

• Tottenham monitors Premier League squad-cost rules (up to 85% of revenue). UEFA’s rules are tighter — 70% squad cost plus a three-year profitability test — and still matter if the club wants to return to Europe.

• Growing commercial income (including concerts and other stadium events) is therefore important if the club is to create more room for football spending inside those rules. He said football remains the priority.

Predictably, Gold My Beer saw a window of opportunity and decided to leap out of it, deciding to tell us that, in fact, there was a ‘cash boost’ on the cards. Surreal barely covers his behaviour.

The truth is that ENIC led us here, to this desolate place, where not getting relegated was, in fact, a fun place to be and that a net spend of £176 million left us all tapped out.

No striker worth a damn on the books, and the rest of the first-team squad is STILL looking in desperate need of a makeover.

Not enough business was done in the summer, and sadly Spurs remain a piñata for the likes of Paddy Power and Domino’s Pizza.

For more than two decades, ENIC systematically sold our best players and replaced them with punts. Two 17th-placed finishes feel like they could become three without too much encouragement.

Someone will mention Mathys Tel’s hat-trick today. Just look at the state of it…

The spin and the empty boxes from ENIC have understandably failed us, and don;t be surprised by Mauricio Pochettino and his newly colourised chestnut locks arriving to inflict further disappointment on us in due course.

I strongly suspect that the ENIC brand leopard hasn’t changed its spots at all.