We're being held hostage by someone with a water pistol

Oh no, it's the Morning Line

Spurs will play, yes, that’s right, actually play a game today.

I had written an email to Daniel Levy [cc’ing in Alas, Gold, of course] suggesting that the match be replaced by a panel of incels describing in the most shameless detail imaginable what this clash might have looked like, but commercial commitments forced everyone’s hand.

A game of football…